Our Pastor told us there needs to be more Josephs in our world...
He went into the story of Jesus. He brought to light an important message of Joseph and the real "man" he really was. Here is a man who literally at first thought "why would she do this to me? I have remained pure and she goes behind my back and gets pregnant!"(referring to Mary). He then has a dream and we know how the story goes from there, he takes Mary as his own with Jesus. The amount of courage and trust and forgiveness for Him to be such a man of faith and wrap his arms around this son. A son who is not his own. Many can foster resentment when things do not go the way they have planned them but here is Joseph who after a bit of needed rest, dreams and is brought to the realization that this child is to be his own.
Some thoughts...this Christmas Eve.
Yesterday as Mom and I "put" up Christmas in our house I undid boxes of memories..We are not one of those "designer" families (sorry mom! hehe) and I love that we aren't one. Our Christmas tree has no color scheme or theme..it is us, Bens pom pom guy, sparkly gluey pine cones, A&W bears and more..It is however real..it is how I remember it to be and hope for it to be in the future.
As we pulled out our Nativity all I could do was giggle..there was the angel dangling by and ornament hook (she must have hung on top of the stable once upon a time?!?) the poor Shepherd that got a little to close to a candle at one point in his life and the wisemen that Ben and I used to sneak and play with in his fisherprice castle..(sorry mom..!)! God is so good at reminding me of the love I have in this family, the memories from Christmases past and the hope for what is to come.
This past Friday I popped in for a visit. One of my girls was busying playing BINGO while my other girl wasn't feeling so well so she was laying down. It was about 2:40 and I knew BINGO would not end until 3:00. As I was walking down to the open meeting area I saw my beloved Joyce nestled down with a puzzle. Joyce is a woman who grabbed my heart quite suddenly six months ago on my first visit to the lodge, she helped me get where I needed to be and at the end of my visits I sat with her for an hour and built a puzzle with her. She calls me a "Puzzler" and she is so cute. She always wants to finish a puzzle quick and surprise people, her joy blows me away. On Friday I sat with her and we built a puzzle together while BINGO wrapped up. I lost track of time and sat with her for 2 hours building a Christmas puzzle.
God is showing me that it is in the time and the quiet spent with others that love and acceptance are found. With Joyce and the puzzle we are busy on our task to get all the pieces in place, we work dilligently, quietly and patiently. I started thinking how if I worked with that same attitude I would be sure to accomplish more for the Lord. I thought of Elizabeth and Zechariah and how the angel told him he would not speak and what must have been running through his mind. Here is a man told his wife will be with child and he is literally speechless..I can see him getting ready for the arrival, making sure everything is in place and all without the worthless distraction of noise. I see him accepting the little faith he had in the temple and being blown away by his wifes growing belly.
If I did less talking and more focussing.....I think I would accomplish more...
Or if I did more praying and less talking I would accomplish more..
Something I have been pondering lately.
On Tuesday I got back to work from my ladies bible study and was talking to the secretary, as we were chatting I noticed truck loads of young men parking in our parking lot. I gawked to see what the heck they were doing (wondering if I needed to go tell them about Jesus or not, lots of young men..hmm..evangelism event). I watched intently as I saw them bring hockey nets out from their trucks and began shoveling the parking lot into their very own hockey rink, it was so bizarre. Anyways as time went on I realized I really wanted to go home, for those who do not know I live across the parking lot literally.
As I was preparing myself for this task I got that sick feeling I used to get in the 8th grade when passing a boy I thought was cute..I got nervous! 22 year old me got nervous to walk home, thinking what would happen there is like 12 of them and one of me..ridiculous I know. So what did I do you may be thinking? The only logical thing to do..
I called Ben! haha! As he picks up the phone I explain my situation and ask him kindly if he would come "pick" me up for lack of a better term. He responds "Are you joking me? No!"- I hang up sort of sad and report to the secretary that he will not be picking me up..just then..He shows up. He is shaking his head in complete shock of how his confident "take no crap from anyone" sister is behaving. I make him wait with me for a few moments to make the trek home less awkward, he continues to tease me....
As we walk home I realise how big of a tool I am, how non-threatning these men are and how stupid I have acted. I am now the talk at dinner, the whole family mocks while we eat. I am still mocked the next day and probably forever..they bring up all the stupid things I have done and add this one to the book of stupids--Dad makes a funny "You should have got warranty on your walk home"- It stings...However, I know tomorrow someone else will add a stupid to their own book and we will laugh at them.
All in all I realize that no matter how "confident" I think I am, I am most definitely still in need of a Saviour...thank-you Jesus for keeping me humble- Amen.
I could share my opinions on the H1N1 flu shot until my head wants to explode?
I could talk about how many halloweeners we had at our door? (ZERO!!)
I could talk about how cold snow is to kneel in?
I could talk about what I want for Christmas..?
Or I could just be silent, be still and take time to be with Him....I like this one..
God keeps bringing me to Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 and I think we should really let these verses sink into our bones....go ahead..look it up...God has been telling me lately to "zip it" so I think I will!
Is it your time to be silent? To laugh? To search? To mourn? To love? To mend? - Let Him speak to you..
On Friday night we are having a Fear Factor night for youth but we have dubbed in Faith VS Fear Factor- speaking to the idea of faith. This has got me think these last few days about faith, about my own faith, about certain amounts of faith I had before and the faith I want to have in the future. Matthew 18:3-4 states "And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven." So then I got to thinking about having this kind of faith, what does it look like?
I stumbled upon this photo of me from many years ago and thought about the faith I had there. In this snapshot you see me, smiley me just sitting, just waiting...I must have had some sort of faith that we were either going somewhere or heading home either way I would wait until my mama or papa led the way. If I got hungry I am sure my mom had a snack packed along, if I got sad I am sure she would soothe me and most importantly I had this faith that I would be let out of this booster seat eventually. I just waited..and enjoyed the ride...I have been dwelling in Isaiah on "Waiting upon the Lord" and I think that applies all over my life, with faith like a child and patience I can step down and allow God to lead my life..I can just wait for Him to unbuckle my booster seat and lead me to my next adventure.
Downhere is a band that has so much flavor and they have a song called "How many Kings" and it spoke to me soooo much. I will leave you with the lyrics to the chorus so it can stir in your own heart the feelings of love, acceptance and sacrifice..
"Cause how many kings, stepped down from their thrones?
How many lords have abandoned their homes?
How many greats have become the least for me?
How many Gods have poured out their hearts
To romance a world that has torn all apart?
How many fathers gave up their sons for me?"
As I sit on the floor at her feet undoing all the knots in her ball of yarn she talks about days gone by, how I am not getting anything finished in my own knitting project and how Jesus is speaking to her. She says "I cannot see anymore, your wearing red I think, I can't taste the food I eat and I cannot smell it but I remember His words "my grace is sufficient for you.." and that is how I go through my days."- Wow..
As I sit out in the hall of the Senior Lodge we sit at the table, we sip coffee, tea and we laugh, oh we laugh from way down in our being. We talk about TV Evangelists and their idols they create how if we pay $19.99 we can get the special green healing blanket and she shakes her head in disgust. She talks about those around her that are lost then she speaks of a lady who sits at her table during meal time "she is a Jehovah Witness Sarah and I want to tell her about Jesus but I am scared, I don't know what to say but I know God would want me to tell her the truth"- We pray for courage.
Know He cares, He loves and He smiles knowing that His servants are not content with they ways of the world, they are waiting for Him, they are spreading His word, they are discerning the "other" voices trying to lead them away and they cling to Him. Faith in Jesus is all these ladies have, all I have.
This last week I was in Camrose and then I went down to Calgary for a few days to have a little "retreat" for myself so I could learn to breathe again. While on my Calgary retreat I discovered a retreat within a retreat. I went to this beautiful place outside of the city called Kings Fold and spent the day with God. It was such a beautiful day spent watching, waiting and listening for what God wanted to teach me..
I am a Squirrel.
As I sat in the Chapel on this gorgeous property and watched this Squirrel trying to embrace the sudden snowfall. He jumped around, paused, twitched and then would just freak out! He was hilarious to watch and I just stood there thinking is that what I look like? When I am thrown into a new surrounding or have a new adventure..do I freak out instead of embracing what it is and accepting it as my reality. This little Squirrel probably was thinking "I am not ready for winter!"- I feel like this a lot, I am not ready for a lot but with faith in my God I know He will make me ready. God reached me at my retreat within a retreat even if it was only to compare me to a twitchy squirrel.
Today a good friend of my mothers dropped off bags full of vegetables at our house. I have always enjoyed a fresh carrot from the garden or a tomato off the vine but today I was reminded of how long it had been since I had been in a garden. There is such beauty in vegetables that have come from a garden, they are still dirty and they are all unique. Each carrot looks different, the cucumbers are fat and weird looking and the turnips are all different sizes not to mention the random shapes of the potato. I started to think today about how much our society has "perfected" the art of everything. All carrots seem to look the same, potatos are the perfect size and such...we create our own "perfect" everythings. This is not real though! We create this false reality not only with cucumbers but with ourselves.
I have been involved in a Bible study on Ester "It's tough being a woman" - and it is based so far on how we tend to compare ourselves to others. This morning I found myself comparing myself to turnips, cucumbers and carrots. We are all unique creations of our Maker and we were never meant to be the carbon copies of each other.
Today as we dropped two bags of vegetables off at a friends of ours I thought it was interesting to watch their daughter. She ripped open the bags and thought "what is this?"(holding a cucumber)- We told her what it was and she said "I have never seen one like this!" There was this excitement in her eyes like she was diving into this brand new vegetable world- little baby green tomatoes? Carrots with dirt all over them?- As I bit the end off of a carrot with her I said she should try some..she said "Nooooo"- She went into the fridge and grabbed her bag of baby carbon copy carrots and ate those..
I thought: "Isn't that just like how we are, we would rather conform to the world than eat something or "be" something different from the rest!"
My prayer is that we will truly "Be" the people that God created us to be in this world, Amen.
God is really teaching me to let go, let Him in and to be at peace with that. Today as the Holy Spirit took over I cried..I cried in my pew..I cried while I sang..I cried as I walked up to communion..I cried at the rail..I cried all the way back to my pew. As Ben wrapped his arms around me in church this morning I felt like the storms in my life were brewing at an ultimate high. God hears me, He hears the cry of His people...I need to be reminded of that. I'm not depressed, I'm not angry but I am tired..tired of sadness..tired of pain..tired of unexplainable death..tired of sorrow..tired of bitterness..tired of being jealous..tired of being selfish..tired of satan having control over people the way he does. God is with me, in this world I will have trouble, but He has overcome the world(John 16:20) I need to be reminded of this verse in my life.
"rain come down, come and heal these sores, wash them clean, come and heal my soul."- Brie Stoner
I am still the same it seems or should I say ..we are... we still live at home, we still sit in our same spots at the dinner table, we cuddle on the couch together still, we laugh at the same jokes and it seems like he is still that little boy in the oversized shirt and underwear sleeping in his little beddy. I mean of course his bed is bigger then it was back then and yes he has gotten a wee bit more wiser but it is neat how God has bound us together and that we can still talk to each other. Not every bunch of siblings gets that, some lose touch, some lose love and some just lose hope. I love that little man..And I wish him a GREAT birthday!
On another note..Youth group starts tonight, we are going to play some games, watch clips from a movie and eat banana splits..God is so good!
Kyle is an interesting fellow. He always want to get into it with me about religion which usually makes me chuckle or start to steam. He always makes up these crazy scenarios that are so impossible and he just waits to see how I will try to answer them.
Some of his questions I merely respond "You're stupid Kyle!"- he just laughs.
Last night it was this "If God is all powerful and can walk through crazy storms and stuff, could He microwave a Burrito so hot that even himself couldn't eat it?" -WHAT!! Welcome to my life of not so religious but still religious debate..I told him that God could if he wanted to, then went on to say that Jesus could have come off the cross, He could have stopped the mallet from driving the nail into His palm but He didn't, so I said I guess if God was ever microwaving a burrito and wanted to see how hot it was He could in fact not be able to eat it because it was too hot..what do you out there think? Oh what a guy..
Then he was telling me how he can get different levels of drunk like +6 drunk which then means a girl that he thought was a 1 would now become a 7 and on and on..Then I lashed back with Ben sitting there and said to Kyle "So how do you base your ratings of girls? And how would a girl like me rate?" - Pressure...He said "Well Sarah it is a number of things personality, looks, what their wearing at the time"..and then he looked at me quite intently(while I am laying on the couch and pipes up).."I think you are a 7 or an 8.."- Just average I thought but he said that 5 is average..I then lashed back that I am a princess so therefore I am at least a 10..then I asked him if he wanted me to rate him...He didn't want me to...
No matter which dummy tries to tell you who you are between 1 to 10..know that you are a 10..always a 10 and that dummy knows nothing. You are daughters of a King and I am 100% sure we rate 10!
May He bless you today..
Did somebody say espresso? Ahhhhh!
It is 1:30 in the am on Tuesday September 8th and my eyes will not close hence this blog entry. If those of you do not know me that well I will state this "I don't drink coffee." The last time I did this it was forced on me by a sweet little old lady and the result was me bouncing around the church office scaring people. The time before that I thought I could handle it so roomate Nat Nat and I induldged..result= 3:00am singing "Lean on Me" while the rest of the group who had slept through our movie night awoke quite shocked at our display, we swayed and everything.
I don't do coffee..I thought it was a tea...I took a sip knew it was most definitely coffee but had to drink it. I mean no I was not held up at gun point and told to drink the latte or else but I did spend nearly five dollars on a drink that later would keep me up until the wee hours of the morning writing a blog entry.
My eyes are open, they wont close and I have a BIG week ahead of me..Lord make me sleepy! Oh I pray!
Our church team "The Goodnews Bears" played in a final tournament this weekend and we rocked! By stating "we rock" I mean we sucked! Now suck is a harsh term to use because we all tried our hardest but I still have no other words to express how unfortunate we were as a team. We did however win one game because the team we were scheduled to play dropped out of the tournament..woot..7-0 victory! But other than that we weren't very impressive. I play second base and to sum up my weekend I will use a few short phrases. "Ball to the breast!- ouch!, we have to tag on a force? Yes this is me falling while warming up..wow! My legs hurt. Give me that old time religion! Oh I am supposed to swing at the ball? Sarah aka Bratty Bear AND I feel like a big marshmallow holding a glove!
It was a great weekend. Made us all laugh, we did have fun..or in some cases "ppppHUn!" but I thank God that He didn't leave my survival in this world up to my baseball skills!
I found the above picture..laughed a lot..I think that would be an accurate depiction of how I looked on second base...
Tonight I wrestled with my hiking backpack to get it all in, got it all together and reminded myself "it does all fit you've done this before!" - discovered that the "new" thermorest I was given might have a slow leak so I am quite nervous about sleeping on a leaky matress for a week..hmm..discovered this house has no batteries and that I am exhausted!
It will be interesting - this week of random fun crazy tiring and I am sure frustrating events but God is in it. And this verse keeps running through my mind :
"Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her." Hosea 2:14 -- thanks Steve Kaack
In the King James it says "wilderness in place of desert" appropriate I thought!
GADGET- God's Always Doing Great Exciting Things!
My favorite memories are little girls hugging me, little boys being to tough to do action songs, kids shouting songs so they can be the loudest, coming home singing the songs but mostly a little boy Drake. He only said 8 words to me this whole week so far but they were enough to reinforce why I do what I am doing up here in Grande Praire.
He ran up to me and said "HI my name is Drake I LOVE JESUS!" I replied quickly "I love Jesus too!" - with that he happily ran away and continue to do the actions to "If I were a butterfly"
God never ceases to amaze me with His divine appointments.
"Praise the Father, Praise the Son. Praise the Spirit, Three in One. Clothed in power and in grace the name above all other names."
that tears just fell. I guess I reflected for what felt like a split second! Reflected on my life in Calgary, my life here and life in general really.
Then tonight as I went to grab a bag of my cinnamon apple tea I discovered it was GONE! Noooo! So sad. It is blowing psycho wind outside and there is none of my favorite tea. It is okay though as I sit here sipping peppermint tea and looking at the wind I can see how much God is in my life, even in the crap He is here.
Before this though I will be attending a good friends wedding and then my brothers. Speaking of my brothers the red non fitting bridesmaid dress is getting work done and as of yesterday it did in fact fit my curvy body. I was excited about that a lot. I think it will be really pretty when it is all said and done.
I get to hang out with Ben tonight, it is his last day of school forever! Crazy..
That's all folks.
"What are you doing this weekend?"
I keep responding "My grandma and grandpa are coming to visit" - what?
For those who are unaware I have not had a grandpa on either side since I was a wee little girl so it is odd that I keep answering this question this way. I find myself confused thinking "why do I keep saying this?"
Today I pondered a little farther...maybe because if you have a grandma you should have a grandpa? If you have a mother you should have a father? I don't know what it is. They just fit together like hand in glove. A grandma should have a grandpa but sometimes one goes way befor the other.
Anyways, I made my gramma a teddy from Teddy Ville which is Grande Prairies version of Build a Bear- It's a pig! hehe!
I struck out, due to closed eyes. I then started to try and love the game and got two players out at second and then cranked the ball and made it to home plate, no big deal really!
I took a lady out for lunch who isn't completely with it and she ordered steak, expensive steak..what was I to do? Nothing! So I did nothing..our lunch bill was $50 dollars, I had chicken tenders, contemplated ordering off the kids menu but I am sure Jesus would of let her have steak so I let her have whatever her heart desired.
Then I went off roading with the pastor. I think I love my life. But we did drive down many range roads for an hour and a half to this campsite where we will be having our church campout. Then we off roaded to the river, quite intense.
Pretty decent Monday.
We are called the "Goodnews Bears" pretty funny if you ask me but I am sure it has a long history and was someones clever idea.
One Youth has dubbed me "Babe Ruth" (he has been around when I crack that ball)- So whenever I am up to the plate he cheers for me "come on babe ruth"..I think its classic. He is also quite helpful in giving me tips on my batting stance, like I'm listening to him through my squinty eyes, jeeeesh.
I got to thinking that I have no idea what Babe Ruth looked like so I googled him, not the most handsome man but he sure has a game face and some good words of wisom
""Love the game of baseball and baseball will love you."
I like it, has a nice ring to it. I think I will apply that next time I am squinting at the plate. To be honest I think I will apply it to a lot of things, my new job, my friends, my family, my coworkers, my body, my heart and soooo much more. I think the more loving we do the more we are going to see coming back our way.....
I am home now in Grande Prairie and all unpacked. My life is surrounding me on every side, pictures, letters and memories of the past little while. I feel restless but rested. I have odd feelings. I am pretty sure this is what it means to "lean on the everlasting arms" because I am feeling a little anxious. I just want to get started and immersed in the ministry here but I must wait...ha..just until tomorrow..but still!
My mom's surgery went very well. She is in a lot of pain though so please pray for a fast good recovery. She just is very tired due to the medication so also pray she will get the rest she is desiring. She is such a fighter.
I think God is teaching me that "when life throws your lemons make lemonade" or in my case "when God sends snow go stand in it barefoot!"- I mean why not...?!?
We had some girls over tonight, watched movies, ate food, laughed, and most of the girls complained about the white stuff falling from the sky! I like it, the snow that is..I like it! Is that weird to sort of smile because it is snowing at the end of April? I think I like the fact that it is still warm out so you can walk out barefoot in the snow, or that the flowers in our garden are about to bloom and now there petals have those HUGE beautiful snowflakes on them. Speaking of snowflakes, they are the big fluffy ones that seem soooo fake..I love them..especially when you catch one on your tongue..
Winter in April- My favorite!
This lady is pretty "freakin" awesome! I am not even kidding ya. She is one hip momma bear who knows how to care and love for her baby bears! I have learnt so much from this woman, how to love, how to trust, how to learn, how to carry on, how to be patient, how to stand up for what you believe in, how to be quiet, how to cook, how to laugh, how to sing, how to cry, how to forgive, how to pray, how to be honest, how to respect others, how to tie my shoes, how to brush my teeth, how to go to the potty...sooooo much! I just love her to bits! MOM you are my bestfriend, God knew what He was doing when He sent me to you...
As nanny would sing and I agree:
A mother's love's a blessing
No matter where you roam
Keep her while she's living
You'll miss her when she's gone
Love her as in childhood
Though feeble, old and grey
For you'll never miss a mother's love
Till she's buried beneath the clay
I love you Mom**
Today at church we meditated on James 2:14-17 :
"What good is it, my brothers, if a man claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save him? Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to him, "Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed," but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead."
I am feeling convicted lately to live a life for Christ, to think of no one but Him in all that I do. I will struggle, I will fail but I will try...try to devote the parts of me I can for His glory... Both on Thursday and Saturday I was able to watch CLBI's spring tour called "Streaming" it was here that I have come face to face with life's reality..we need to be as one..they will know we are christians by our love...my name is worth more than all of this...I do not want to dishonor my name...my life is worth more than this..I cannot waste my life....because..
"when the saints go maching in, I want to be one of them.."
That's me, living eight months at a time waiting for direction and then following the leader..Sometimes I suck at the following game but I am trying to get a bit better at surrendering "my" wants at the foot of the cross and taking on "His" wants for my life.
I love when the snow starts to melt, when you walk outside and there is a breeze of fresh warm air. It for me marks a time of renewal, refreshment and restoration. Spring is coming, beauty is about to bloom literally, it is exciting. I know I have to relax because I am situated in Calgary and I am pretty sure this is what they call a "chinook" but I love it! I love the random winter/spring/winter/spring transition, it keeps me on my toes. Yesterday as I dodged puddle after puddle I just decided to embrace the coldness of melting snow. Wearing princess shoes and walking through puddles brings more than a smile to my face, it brings contentment in my soul. I plan to wear capris today, with my princess shoes and hopefully step into a few puddles on accident, maybe even on purpose.
It was a heart wrenching, brain stretching, lovely experience.
pray for the sikh.
A mark on our forhead, a reminder of the sacrifice to come, a realization that the sacrifice was made and the reality that we are living in the freedom of that one act each and every day.
I enjoy Ash Wednesday, I like the time to stop, listen, reflect, cry and remember why I am a Christan, why I believe what I do and how I can only make it through with help. There is a beautiful comfort in letting go, in confessing, in listening to our own hearts cry out to the Lord of heaven and earth. During communion I stood infront of two men, two pastors, two brothers in Christ and realized the level of respect I have for these two individuals. As they broke the bread and poured the wine for me, I saw Jesus, I saw Him there, met Him there and wept like I always do when I meet Jesus in His place of worship, I weep. I love that God wants to show Himself to me, I love that He cares that much.
I didn't have ashes on my forhead this year, we didn't attend the traditional "Lutheran/Catholic" service. I instead will pray with God that I wear that cross on my forhead always, not just on Ash Wednesday.
Well..it has been quite the time for me. WOW.
I am the Educational Program Director here in Calgary at a place called Spaceport, which is like a science centre buisness. I went to Camrose on Tuesday night to visit Pastor Jim and Chad for one day. I have been feeling very busy lately. I have a long weekend which I plan to play a lot during. I am going to Banff on Monday to sit in the Hot Springs. Nat and I went bowling with a bunch of friends last night and wore matching toques, mitts and our "No Condemnation" sweatshirts, it was sweet (Troy we wished you were there!). Tonight calls for a possible taco/dutch blitz/movie night with the friendsys.
I feel happy, and feeling something has been rare this last little while.
Hope you find the one you love today!....sick...
I will hed up to Edmontom tomorrow with Nat Nat to meet up with Ally Ba Ba and Mamma dearest for Breakforth fun times.
After this then I will crack right down on the job searching buisness..
It is so beautiful out today I love it!
I then drove all day Saturday home to Grande Prairie to surprise my Pa for his birthday, it is marvelous to be home! I will leave Tuesday and go back to Calgary to be reunited with my long lost girl Nat Nat for amazing fun times.
It is neat to be home, surrounded by love, a time of reflection and renewal. I have a lot to think about, I have a life to live, I am living it I suppose, day by day, It is just weird to think I am at a definite crossroads and wherever I feel led I can go..wow!
*2 more days of practicum.
*It is snowing today.
*My older brother is engaged.
*My older brother's fiancees dads in the hospital.
*My dads birthday is on Saturday :)
*My little brother is in the middle of diplomas in High School/newsflash he is in grade 12! Ah!
*Soon it is breakforth.
Life carries on, it gets busy, I swim in it and pray I don't sink. This last week has been especially good for me a little redemption of the practicum I have been hating. It has given my perspective on other areas in the lab I could work so that is exciting. This is an end for me, I will be done and able to make a choice as to what I think I want to do after this. There is no schedule. It is weird to just "be" with your life. I like it though.
I can make it! I am so thankful for how God is showing me I can do this! I feel so tired, useless and sick most of the time with no desire to push onwards.
We had more snow last night, Lethbridge is a white as it ever could be! It reminds me of being home with mom and dad in Grande Prairie.
Based on being so terribly bitter about my schooling and practicum I have decided to look at things from a completely different angle.
-I only have to poke people for 8 more working days, that is totally within my reach even though I am so easily wavered to think not.
-I only have 13 more working days of my complete practicum before I am finished with SAIT and can go work at some stupid place in Calgary with Nat Nat.
-On that note...17 or 18 more days until I can cry a whole 8 weeks worth of tears on Nat Nats shoulder while we do shots of ice tea and watch some sappy flick- I cannot wait for that one!
-I think I can make it! I know I can even though I daily feel like I cannot.
Sarah --mommy I miss you..
I don't want too!!! I want to quit! Work for my dad, make lots of money and then go live in a dung hut somewheres, wanna join me?
I am now an official "grown up" I think, my dad said "you gotta finish what you started."
He is right...I "need" to finish...then what...work in it? make some moolah to support my little Joyce over in the Philippines? sounds like a plan...
I don't want to! Such a complainer am I..
Happy New Year!