I am a pretty confident person, most of my friends would label me the "strong outgoing type." I would agree most of the time. I am not socially awkward, I make friends easily and I am definitely not shy. Sometimes though I find myself in weird situations in which I act completely against who I am. Does this happen to you? Example..
On Tuesday I got back to work from my ladies bible study and was talking to the secretary, as we were chatting I noticed truck loads of young men parking in our parking lot. I gawked to see what the heck they were doing (wondering if I needed to go tell them about Jesus or not, lots of young men..hmm..evangelism event). I watched intently as I saw them bring hockey nets out from their trucks and began shoveling the parking lot into their very own hockey rink, it was so bizarre. Anyways as time went on I realized I really wanted to go home, for those who do not know I live across the parking lot literally.
As I was preparing myself for this task I got that sick feeling I used to get in the 8th grade when passing a boy I thought was cute..I got nervous! 22 year old me got nervous to walk home, thinking what would happen there is like 12 of them and one of me..ridiculous I know. So what did I do you may be thinking? The only logical thing to do..
I called Ben! haha! As he picks up the phone I explain my situation and ask him kindly if he would come "pick" me up for lack of a better term. He responds "Are you joking me? No!"- I hang up sort of sad and report to the secretary that he will not be picking me up..just then..He shows up. He is shaking his head in complete shock of how his confident "take no crap from anyone" sister is behaving. I make him wait with me for a few moments to make the trek home less awkward, he continues to tease me....
As we walk home I realise how big of a tool I am, how non-threatning these men are and how stupid I have acted. I am now the talk at dinner, the whole family mocks while we eat. I am still mocked the next day and probably forever..they bring up all the stupid things I have done and add this one to the book of stupids--Dad makes a funny "You should have got warranty on your walk home"- It stings...However, I know tomorrow someone else will add a stupid to their own book and we will laugh at them.
All in all I realize that no matter how "confident" I think I am, I am most definitely still in need of a Saviour...thank-you Jesus for keeping me humble- Amen.