Not sure who is left out there...

I am not sure who, if anyone still reads this page. I have been neglecting my blogging life something fierce for over a year really and it's time I feel to stop and reflect again.


I have had a lot of up's and down's in both my relationships, work life, money issues, home purchasing and in the areas of my faith. In the end Christ always remains my center and I am thankful that despite my blatant rebellion He is still whispering "I love you Sarah" in my ear.


Praise God.


As I enter a Saturday of winter blues, I am trying despite my anger filled texts to a boyfriend who I know loves me, keep my focus on God. He is not going anywhere in my life. I have been in an odd spot of transition littered with stress which is doing numbers on my physical body. With purchasing a new home, thinking of renovations, trying to learn how to fuse my life to another's(enter the boyfriend), find joy in my job, in my church and in my spiritual life I have been,


well,
struggling.


One thing remains the same; "I am pretty hungry for Heaven" and I am very tired.


satan has actually been winning sometimes even in my mind, I try when I can with Gods' help to kick him out but he is pretty persistent. Through moments with Pastors, friends and family we are praying him out of my life and putting him back in his place. *under my feet!


Sin is running rampant, and sometimes..I don't want to admit this I don't even feel sorry, I feel annoyed that I have to live differently then others. This is that whole satan playing in my mind thing. I am blessed to have a Father who is constantly pulling me back in, brushing me off and saying "I forgive you, let's keep walking" - sometimes I feel like I am limping, like I need more water, like I will just rest here for awhile and catch up later but Jesus isn't leaving me or letting me stop. He is a pretty persistent comforter.


It's winter today on the prairies, white snow covers all the "garbage" at the landfill literally as I look out my scale window.. I am remembering that nothing but the blood of Jesus can save me; not my own strength, my boyfriends love, my families support, my paycheck, my security, my selfishness, my pride, my beauty or my dreams.


Nothing.But.The.Blood!


-Help me to remember this dear Jesus.